27 weeks

     So, today we hit 27 weeks. Very exciting! One week ago from my personal first goal of 28 weeks. We have a big day tomorrow. A level II ultrasound followed by appointment with high risk MFM. Then we have an appointment with oncology gyn surgeon. Hopefully, we can see new game plan and maybe get some good news. Would like some encouragement we can make it to February.

     We have my hospital bag packed. We have diaper bag packed full of the preemie clothes we have bought and received. Need to add some blankets.

     We spent the weekend finally finishing packing up the Christmas decorations. We have like 20 tubs and 2 large Christmas tree bags, so it takes a while. It is all downstairs just has to be put in large storage closet under stairs. Outside stuff is down, but needs to packed away.

     Also, got all the newborn thru 3 months clothes from the girls sorted. The newborn are all put away and organized. Gotta tackle the 0-3 months. Luckily, a lot of seasons match up with Wynter having been a January baby.

     Will update after tomorrow's appointments. Hopefully the bridge closures wont affect my BP too much, haha. Will be leaving early. I think I will try 459 to 65 tomorrow and time that route. I am suppossed to keep medical team advised to our commute time. 30 min is ideal, but if we can stay u der an hr I think we can avoid possible interventions due to time risk.... Read More

26 Weeks

26 weeks today. Only 2 more to my first big goal. Starting to really get things together for both her birth and recovery period. My bag is packed and her bag is packed.  Started getting some stock piles of things for the kids.

     At the most we have 7.5 weeks left. The surgeon really doesn't want to pass 33.5 weeks. Hopefully will know a little more after next week's ultrasounds and 3 appointments.... Read More


So, they rescheduled my 7th appointment to the 14th. They want us to meet with whole team on the same day. This is definitely more convenient. We will be 27.1 weeks at that appointment. Praying all looks well. We will be 6 days from what has always been my first goal of 28 weeks. 15 days from the 30 weeks that I will be super thrilled if we make it to.

     Kalani has gotten super active. Olan has been able to feel her for about 2 weeks and now you can watch her moving from the outside, too. It is reassuring to know she is growing and doing well. Trying to savor every kick and turn.... Read More

A New Year

 A new year. What a terrifying start it is presenting with. Always before I  have hoped to see financial gains, weight loss, the typical new years goals. Nothing typical is in my head today.

     Today I look toward this new year and hope to celebrate birthdays and holidays throughout the year. I hope to actually meet my new daughter and not just give her life. I want to make plans and know I'll be here to carry them thru.

     I really am trying to stay positive and have faith. It's easy to tell someone to be strong and it will be ok. I have said to others numerous times. But, sometimes that hope falters and it's really hard to gather up and grab back onto it.

     I think it just is really hard to be anticipating an event that should be filled with joy and happiness instead filled with fear and so much unknown.  My sweet Kalani is going to be such a wonderful gift to her whole family. I know this and to this I must cling on these hard days.... Read More


 December 11th we go in to UAB high risk for evaluation. The only good news we receive is that the baby looks perfect. I do in fact have placenta acreta. We are told there is about an eyelash between my placenta and my bladder. The doctor tells us I will need open abdominal surgery. 100% chance of hysterectomy, 100% will have partial bladder removal, 100% will have 1 -2 nights minimum in SICU, 100% will need blood transfusions. The baby will go to NICU as we are not allowed to go past 34 weeks. They seem very doubtful we will make it that far. In fact at this appointment we are 22.2 weeks and they seem to think 24 weeks is optimistic.

      I am told there will be around 10 doctors in my delivery. I am told it will be in main OR. Olan will not be allowed in with me. I may or may not get to meet my baby... if the right anesthesia team is on they will let me be awake for delivery then be put me out for the up to 6 hour surgery to try and repair and put me back together. It is repeatedly said that this is a life threatening pregnancy for me.

     Before we leave we are referred to an oncology gyn surgeon. They will do operation as blood loss is anticipated to be great and they have experience in handling this. It is clear on ultrasound the problem... Read More

Our Journey Begins

So, our journey began in August 2018.  I had been feeling dizzy for a week. I decided to take a pregnancy test on a whim. I fully expected a negative. After all Olan had been diagnosed medically sterile and I was exclusively breastfeeding our youngest, Gideon. Much to my surprise a very faint second line appeared. I was in total shock.

     Due to our traumatic delivery less than a year before I immediately called to setup an appointment. I had no idea how far along I would be as I hadn't returned to normal cycles. I still wasn't sure it wasn't a fluke even after multiple positive tests.

     I went in and saw my doctor and had a dating ultrasound which showed a sac but not much more. They requested I return in 5 days. The next week there she was with a beautiful little heartbeat flickering away.

     From the beginning I was labeled high risk. With a placental abruption less than a year in the past we knew we would be closely monitored. We did weekly ultrasounds the first 4 weeks then biweekly. At 12 weeks we went to monthly. Originally baby seemed to be funneling towards previous c-section scar, but then moved away and that area narrowed then closed. We thought we were in the clear.

     We had genetic testing and all came back clear. Olan found out gender as he had with previous 2 and planned to prepare nd... Read More
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