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     So sorry for the late update. Life has been busy and hectic. Aside from a few sentences here and there on Facebook I haven't been able to string together long coherent thoughts.

     We got to the hospital at 530 Tuesday morning. They pretty much took me straight back to pre op.i was very scared and nervous. I really wanted Olan with me. Anesthesiology came by and talked to me. They told me after reviewing my case they did not feel comfortable letting me start awake. So, I wasn't even going to meet her. This really upset me. Then the surgeon came in and told me on review of my latest ultrasound it was as bad as they could have feared. It was very invasive and there was definite bladder involvement. I now was terrified. She told me she was not comfortable with just IV access and was having a central line and arterial line place before we went to OR.

     They let me see Olan and I was very grateful. Then they came and put the lines in. That was a surreal experience being awake for. You have to be very still when central lines being placed in the neck and then arterial lines in the wrist. They then let Olan come back one last time.

     Then my bed was pushed to OR along with about 10 doctors. We got to room where more doctors waited. That was scary because who needs 15 doctors in their OR suite. They got me situated. I was awake for maybe 10 - 15 min in OR. But, time was weird so could have been more or less.

     I woke up in recovery in tremendous pain. Mind numbing pain. They knocked me back out. I remember this happening 5 or 6 times. Olan said they kept letting him know pain management was causing issues. Apparently, they were having to use more fentanyl and dilaudid than they had planned. Finally around 630 PM I was released to a room. 13 hrs after going back my husband and I knew I was a survivor. 

     He told me Kalani was on cpap, but doing well. He got very worried when I couldn't assist in bed transfer at all. I have always basically moved over on my own. I couldn't even raise my head. But, even feeling that way I immediately started begging to see Kalani. They really discouraged it. They really wanted me to wait till morning. But, I persisted. So, at 730 I forced myself into a wheelchair and went and saw my daughter for the first time. She was absolutely perfect. I stood by her bed 15 minutes then gave out.

     The next night my catheter clogged off and my bladder was overfilled. I thought I was dying. I was begging them between teeth chatters to knock me out. Once they recathorized and measured output they realized my bladder had come seriously close to rupturing. It reflected an hr later but they were able to flush it this time. I cannot describe the pain. My surgeon came in the next day and was very proud of her repair. She said it was amazing it had held up that soon and I hadn't needed immediate surgery for a ruptured bladder. 

     I cannot describe how painful this was and still is. Bladder surgery on top of hysterectomy and all the moving around has whooped me. The doctors did say it was worse than they expected when they got in. The placenta was much larger and had large blood filled vessels everywhere. It had totally torn thru uterus was into bladder, wrapped around my tubes, wrapped around arteries and filling all space. They were not even able to deliver Kalani till section of bladder removed as they couldn't see where to safely cut into the uterus. Hearing all this was scary as I know how easy I could have died.

     I have to stop now as this is very emotional reliving. A week out now and Kalani graduated NICU and is in continuing care nursery. She is doing amazing. I have a Foley for one more week and a gran total of 47 staples that are not the most amazing things to deal with.

     Thank you for all your support and prayers. Will continue to update.

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