Last Night Pregnant

     This is the last night I ever go to sleep pregnant. The last night little kicks will wake me up. I have a lot of memories of the magic of growing little lives inside me. I have loved every one of my pregnancies. Even this one with all the stress and unknowns has been a great gift.

     Tomorrow I will meet the newest love of my life. I will get to fall in love at first sight one final time. I am very much looking forward to seeing Kalani and knowing that she made it here safely. 

    Of course, this is what I hope happens tomorrow. I really hope to meet her tomorrow and not later in the week. 

     Once again, please keep us in thoughts and prayers. Next post will be from the survivor side.... Read More

5 days to go

     They are supposed to call this afternoon to tell me when to come in Monday for pre OP testing. I am ready to be on the survivor side. But, each day closer is getting harder. I am regularly falling apart at night. The what ifs are terrifying. I am really praying for best case scenario. No ICU stay or one night max. Minimal blood loss. No major bladder involvement. Kalani to fly and spend 3 weeks max in NICU. If you want to be specific in your prayers there is my list.

     Also, worried about being away for so long. Gideon is still so much my baby boy. I know we are very lucky to have my Mother who the kids love and is so willing to help. But, it will be a lot of meals and time. Praying they all stay healthy while I am away.... Read More

Single digits and sweet surprise

     8 days to go. It seems to have flown by. Yet, when each day of uncertainty is here and each night comes filled with thoughts of what can go wrong, then it drags.  I want to cherish each day left of your kicks. But, I'm ready to know you are her and safe and I am here to watch you grow.

     My husband ran point on an awesome surprise for me. Helped greatly by my best friend, sister, and mother. Yesterday, I arrived at my mom's to a complete surprise of a shower. It was decorated beautifully with an abundance of food and gifts. There was even a sweet tear jerker of a DVD with recorded messages from out of state and out of country friends. 

     I could not have asked for a better shower. I feel extremely blessed. I know Kalani and I are in many prayers. It was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. I appreciate the hosts and every person who gave us a few hours of their precious time to come and let us know we mattered. Life is busy and I'm honored you shared some of your precious time with me.

     ... Read More

2 weeks

     Two weeks, 14 days, 336 hrs till you arrive. Well, unless sooner. It is exciting, terrifying, and sad. Exciting because I know you will be here and safe. Terrifying because I dont know how this will end for me. Sad because I cant say I will be holding you in 2 weeks. I dont know when that will happen. I dont know how old you will be when I get to meet you for the first time. 
 
     Im sorry I cant get you to full term. All the doctors tell me they consider it a win now that we have hit 30 weeks. But, my job is to protect you and sometimes I feel I am starting with a loss on that. Part of motherhood I guess, always second guessing. 

     I am trying to cherish all these last kicks and turns you are doing daily. Every doctor remarks on how active you are. I am sure you will keep us hopping once you arrive.... Read More

Admission for a few days

     Well, we got admitted Mon. night. Today is Wednesday. I have a UTI and was having contractions every 3-5 min. With all the risk of both placental and bladder rupture they decided safest course was to admit. We have now gotten contractions down to 2 or 3 an hour. UTI is resolving.
     Kalani has been her typical feisty stubborn self. She was very hard to keep on the monitor the 2 says they fid continuous monitoring. Then this morning she hid behind my hernia. Very stressful when 2 nurses couldnt find heart tones or detect movement. They brought in a special doppler and found her. Then she earned a NST for not passing kick counts. The strapped moniter apparently made her mad and she passed with flying colors.
     I got mag both to stop contractions and reduce her risk of brain bleeds if something changes and she needs to be here sooner. Getting 4 day course of stetoids for lung development.  We will be here till Friday.
     Due to risk of flu children under 12 cannot visit Oct 1st till April 1st. So, kids cant visit. I am missing them a lot. Hopefully, I do get to ho home Friday and get some snuggles.... Read More

29 weeks

     Almost 2 months ago the doctors didn't know if we would reach viability at 24 weeks. Now, here we are 7 weeks later seeing 29. This is great for Kalani. If she is born now she has a good chance of not having any long term  problems.

     A fellow accreta mom in a different state delivered last week. She is doing better now and baby doing well, though will be in NICU a few weeks.She required 43 units of blood products. 21 units of blood and 22 units of plasma and platelets.  This is scary, but she made it thru because her team was prepared. I have to trust my team is also. 

     Lately, I have had many say oh, yeah, I had previa, but it resolved. Placenta previa is very different than placenta accreta. First off I also have diagnosis of complete placenta previa. But, previa is usually fine if monitored and a c section planned. Placenta can also move and it resolve during pregnancy. Accreta does not resolve. It does not involve just a csection, but also a hysterectomy as a measure to preemptively lower the risk to the mother. With percreta, also, which we are looking at, you also add bladder resection. All of this while dealing with the extra vascualrity this condition brings with it.  Not to say previa isn't worrisome. Clarifying that they are very different conditions.

     This week I see regular OB on... Read More

28 weeks, Mommy's 1st goal

     28 weeks was always my first personal goal. Today we reached that. I'm so excited. Yes, she would still need a lot of help if born this week, but survival odds are very high. Not much has changed around here. 

     I feel the time ticking down. 30 days left. That seems unreal. We have gotten a lot done in preparing, but as always there seems so much left to do. 

     Next appointment is the 31st.... Read More

Another day, another appointment

     Saw my OB today. Everything looking good so far. She is measuring almost perfect on track. She is 27.4 weeks, measuring 28.1. So, 4 days discrepancy. Unusual for one of mine. I tend to measure 2 -4 weeks ahead.

     All doctors are currently very excited that urine staying blood free for now. They didnt see that happening at this point. Placenta is actually doing as well as can be expscted except for increased vascularity. But, it hasnt invaded any new organs. It always sounds like a battle report when getting my ultrasound results.

     I'm trying to look at positives. We have made it further than expected. My bladder still working well. No bleeding episodes. But, there is a lot of sadness. Olan will miss delivery for the first time. I may not meet her for several days. I wont be cuddling her while trying to recover from major surgery. I'll go longest ever not seeing my kids as visitors under 12 not allowed at hospital we are delivering at.... Read More

Delivery Date Set

     Went to see MFM and oncology gyn surgeon yesterday. Ultrasound showed Kalani looks perfect. However, shows left side of placenta is much more vascular than they wanted to see. This means risk of bleeding is higher. As the oncology surgeon said, "Well, now she knows she will be on the left side of the OR table."

     We will return to check again on February 5th. Or, if anything is sliggtly off we are to head straight to UAB. We got told delivery is scheduled for February 19th. This will put Kalani at 32.2 weeks. It is a Tuesday. They will have me come in the Thursday before for steroids to help mature her lungs as much as possible.... Read More

27 weeks

     So, today we hit 27 weeks. Very exciting! One week ago from my personal first goal of 28 weeks. We have a big day tomorrow. A level II ultrasound followed by appointment with high risk MFM. Then we have an appointment with oncology gyn surgeon. Hopefully, we can see new game plan and maybe get some good news. Would like some encouragement we can make it to February.

     We have my hospital bag packed. We have diaper bag packed full of the preemie clothes we have bought and received. Need to add some blankets.

     We spent the weekend finally finishing packing up the Christmas decorations. We have like 20 tubs and 2 large Christmas tree bags, so it takes a while. It is all downstairs just has to be put in large storage closet under stairs. Outside stuff is down, but needs to packed away.

     Also, got all the newborn thru 3 months clothes from the girls sorted. The newborn are all put away and organized. Gotta tackle the 0-3 months. Luckily, a lot of seasons match up with Wynter having been a January baby.

     Will update after tomorrow's appointments. Hopefully the bridge closures wont affect my BP too much, haha. Will be leaving early. I think I will try 459 to 65 tomorrow and time that route. I am suppossed to keep medical team advised to our commute time. 30 min is ideal, but if... Read More
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